Anne Seymour Damer

Anne Seymour Damer (1748-1828)

Anne Seymour Damer by Sir Joshua Reynolds 1772-3 from National Portrait Gallery NPG 594

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Early Life:

Anne Conway was the child of Field-Marshal Henry Seymour Conway (1721–1795) and his wife Caroline Bruce, born Campbell, Lady Ailesbury (1721–1803), and was brought up at the family home at Park Place, Remenham, Berkshire.  Lady Ailesbury was first married to Charles Bruce, with whom she had Lady Mary Bruce (1740-1796), Anne’s half sister.  Lady Mary became the Duchess of Richmond when she married Sir Charles Lenox, the 3^rd Duke of Richmond.  The Duchess never had children, but the Duke did sire at least one illegitimate daughter, Henrietta Le Clerc, whose mother is not known.

In 1752, Field Marshall Conway and his regiment were sent to Ireland.  The family had just purchased their own estate, Park Place, but they were unable to move in for five more years.  Five-year-old Anne lived with Conway’s longtime friend and cousin Horace Walpole while her parents were in Ireland.  The life-long closeness between Anne and Horace Walpole started during this time.  In his letters to her parents, Walpole always referred to Anne as “missy”.  On September 23, 1755, Walpole wrote to Conway: “Make a great many compliments for  me to  my Lady A.  I own I am in pain about Missy.  As  my Lady is a little coquette herself, and loves crowds and admiration and a court life, it will be very difficult for her to keep a strict eye upon Missy.”

Marriage to John Damer 

Anne Seymour Conway married John Damer on June 14, 1767.  The wedding announcement in The Saturday Evening Post on Saturday, June 13 to June 16, 1767 read, “Sunday, was married at Park Place, the Hon. Mr. Damer, eldest son of Lord Milton, to Miss Conway, daughter of the Right Hon. Henry Seymour Conway, Esq.; who, together with his Lady, the Countess of Ailesbury, and several persons of distinction, set out that morning to be present at the marriage ceremony.”  The marriage appeared successful at first.  They had a large income and were seen out and about London society together often throughout their first year of marriage.  After that first year, however, Anne started attending events either by herself or with her mother, as John was off gambling heavily.  Lady Sarah Lennox (possible one-time lover of “Prinny” and wife for a time of Sir Thomas Charles Bunbury) wrote to a friend that it was obvious neither party was in love with the other and that it was no surprise they did not spend much time together.  Anne travelled to Paris in 1774 to greet her father returning from a mission to Frederick the Great.  While in Paris she attended a ball in the court of Louis XVI and returned to London with the latest in Parisian fashion.  It was on her return from this trip that she decided to separate from John Damer.

At this point Damer was over his head in debt and his father refused to help him financially.  John Damer killed himself on August 15, 1776 at the Bedford Arms.  He was found sitting in a chair, dead by a gunshot wound.  A note on the table stated “The people of the house are not to blame for what has happened, which was my own act.”  Charles James Fox himself broke the news to Anne, who was away from London at the time.  Walpole writes that Lord Milton, Damer’s father, blamed Anne and forced her to sell her jewelry to pay for his son’s outstanding debts.  Anne was forced to leave her house and everything in it behind except, according to Sarah Lennox, an inkstand, a few books, her dog, and her maid.  She lived with her sister for a year, giving up that year’s income ($2,500) towards her husband’s debts.  Sarah Lennox writes that the servants from the house were owed fourteen months of back wages.  When Anne tried to pay them, all but the most needy took only what was immediately necessary, if anything at all, because they felt so bad for her.  One issue that is not discussed in Life Mask is the issues Anne had with money.  From surviving letters, it is apparent that Lord Milton was not always prompt in paying Anne her jointure every year.  While not poor compared to the non-aristocratic English population, Anne was not as wealthy as many of her friends in the “World”.

The Art of Anne Damer

Please click here to see images of Anne Damer’s work

In 1781, Anne travelled to Europe.  While in Rome, she rekindled her love of sculpture and spent time studying techniques in France and Italy.  On her return, she became the sculptor we see in Life Mask.  As a young woman, she had studied under Giuseppe Ceracchi and John Bacon as well as taking an anatomy course from William Cruikshank.  She worked steadily for most of her adult life.  As described in the novel, most of her work consisted of animals in marble along with busts or occasional statues of people she knew.  All of the works mentioned in the novel exist in real life including the bust of Eliza, the osprey, the statue of King George, the masks of Isis and Thames on the bridge at Henley, the bust of herself, her dog Fidelle, and the bust of Mary Berry.  She also made a bust of her father, two busts of her mother, and a bust of Charles James Fox, which she presented to Napoleon in 1815.  Many of her works were often given as gifts and live even today in private homes.  There were rumors that Anne had not done most of the work herself (most likely started by Smith himself).  However, they do not seem to have had much of an impact on her life and success as an artist.  Anne was a prolific sculpture, working constantly.  She also wrote a well-received novel, Belmour, published in 1801.  She was able to create art like this because she was an independently wealthy unmarried woman.  This lifestyle was unusual for a woman at this time; it was often considered dangerous by many in society.  Without her wealth and status as a member of the gentry and the “bon ton”, she most likely would not have been able to live such a life.

Questions of Sexuality

Please click here to see images of the publications about Anne Damer

There is no proof of Anne Damer living life as a lesbian or having a physical affair with Mary Berry.  However, the rumors about her did happen and they dogged her from the time John Damer killed himself.  Unlike the rumors about her not being a “real” sculptor, the gossip about her sexuality never truly went away.  The first known libel about her sexuality appeared in 1777 from William Combe.  It was a couplet satire called The First of April; Or, the Triumphs of Folly. It appears Combe had been betrayed by a relative of Anne’s, the Marquis of Hertford, and he wrote the poem to attack the Marquis and his family.  The main attack is on members of the Whig party.  While Combe never directly states that Anne is a sapphist, it is clearly implied.  Anne is described as a rich woman who mourns the death of her husband not because she loved him, but because she lost a title.  She is comforted by Lady Harrington who encourages Anne to take comfort in her female fellow-widowed friends with “th’ awaken’d passion” and “joys which blooming Widows share”.  (Please click here to see a copy of the poem) A more direct libel appeared in James Perry’s Mimosa; Or, The Sensitive Plant in 1779.  “Can Botanists find out the cause,/That contrary to nature’s laws, / Some people can abuse it? / ST-T claps it in his valet’s   b-m; /H-LL fingers it, and some/ Like DAM-R never use it.”  Anne is linked with other sexual deviants, a sodomite and a masturbator.  In case we might think she is celibate, he also includes a footnote linking Anne directly to women: “This lady’s late elopement with the Countess du B—e will explain this.”  Anne did travel with the Vicecountess du Barry, but there is no evidence of an  inappropriate relationship between them.  A third libelous poem called A Sapphick Epistle, from Jack Cavendish to the Honourable and Most Beautiful Mr.s D**** implies that Anne is different from other women because she does not chase after men.  As with the First of April libel, the poem does not specifically describe lesbian behavior.  However, it does strongly imply that she must be a lesbian if she does not want sex with men.  It also mentions, “For if report is right, / The maids of warm Italia’s Land, / Have felt the pressure of your hand, / The pressure of delight.”  All three of these poems were printed seemingly without fear of reprisal.  There was very little Anne could do to directly respond to these published poems other than ignore them.  As a wealthy member of the aristocracy, Anne was able to live her life by protecting her reputation among the ton.

The rumors returned in the 1790’s as Anne’s fame as a sculptor grew.  She also did not remarry, which would have quieted the rumors about her.  One of the new rounds of critiques came in the form of a print in 1789 called “The Damerian Apollo”.  The print represents Anne as a woman of fashion who penetrates Apollo’s buttocks inappropriately.  Apollo points toward the “natural” couple in front him, a man and woman looking lovingly towards each other, emphasizing Anne’s unnatural behavior.  Anne’s relationship with Eliza Farren did add more flames to the sapphic rumor fire.  The verses mentioned in Life Mask from Mrs. Siddon’s husband did exist and were recorded by Hester Piozzi in her diary on June 17, 1790:

“Mrs. Damor [sic] a lady much suspected for liking her own Sex in a criminal Way, had Miss Farren the fine comic Actress often about her last year; and Mrs. Siddon’s Husband made the following Verses on them.

Her little Stock of private Fame

Will fall a Wreck to public Clamour,

If Farren leagues with one whose Name

Comes near – Aye very near – to Damn her.”

Mrs. Piozzi mentioned the rumors again five years later when she wrote, “’Tis a Joke in London now to say such a one visits Mrs. Damer.  Lord Derby certainly insisted on Miss Farren’s keeping her Distance & there was a droll but bitter Epigram while they used to see one another often.”  More public comments came from Charles Pigott’s The Whig Club where he attacked prominent Whig figures including Anne Damer, Eliza Farren, and Lord Derby.  He claims at one point that Eliza feels more from her closeness to Anne than she does from Derby and feel “more exquisite delight from the touch of the cheek of Mrs. D—r, than from the fancy of any novelties which the wedding night can promise with such a partner as his Lordship.”  In Life Mask, these verses drive the final wedge between Anne and Eliza.

Discussion Question:

Do you think Anne Damer was a lesbian?  Do you think she had a romantic relationship with Mary Berry?  Here are some ideas to get you started…

While Emma Donoghue portrays Anne Damer as a woman who discovers through her relationship with Mary Berry that she is a lesbian both mentally and physically, there is no concrete proof that this was true.  Two versions of Anne Damer’s life existed during her lifetime – that of a degraded saphhist and that of a genteel sculptor.  How should we interpret these ideas?  It is true that while many of the aristocracy had all sorts of libelous poems and rumors printed about them, Anne Damer was one of only a few women who had such specific ideas written about her.  It is also true that the only writings of her own that she saved from being burned upon her death were portions of the letters she received from Mary Berry which often talk of the love they feel for each other (though no sexual relationship is mentioned).  It is easy to argue the idea that “where there is smoke, there is fire”.  On the other hand, is it fair to apply a label to someone when we have no proof other than rumors written by those trying to sell newspapers?  The label of “lesbian” does not have the same meaning today as it did in Anne’s lifetime.  An unmarried female artist who came out as a lesbian would not have (as much) prejudice thrown at her today.  Is it okay, then, to claim Anne Damer as a lesbian without concrete proof?  Many of us are inspired today by the idea of a woman in the late 1700’s/early 1800’s living her life just as she wanted to, without a husband.  Perhaps this life as an artist without a husband should be enough to praise.  Or perhaps we should speak what we believe to be the truth about her so that her secret no longer has to stay in the closet.

 Other Significant Relationships of Anne Damer from Life Mask

Horace Walpole:  As mentioned in her early life, Anne often stayed with Walpole growing up.  Walpole and her father, Field Marshall Conway, were close friends for most of their lives.  Walpole referred to Anne as “like a daughter” in several of his letters.  Several of her sculptures were gifts to Walpole and were displayed at Strawberry Hill, which he did leave Anne in his will.  Walpole was also the means through which Anne met and became friends with the Berry’s, including Mary.

Mary Berry:  As described in Life Mask, Anne met Mary Berry through Horace Walpole, who had fallen in love with the whole Berry family.  While there were rumors that Walpole himself was in love with Mary, no proof exists of this exists in any letter from Walpole or Mary.  He did, however, refer to Mary and her sister Agnes as “his two wives.”  Anne and her mother were introduced to the Berry’s at Strawberry Hill in 1789.  From that time forward, the two were very close, exchanging many letters.  Mary was engaged to General O’Hara and the engagement did end due to some misunderstanding.  When Mary writes about her reaction to opening the letters between herself and General O’Hara forty-eight years after the broken engagement, she refers to them as “the six happiest months of my existence” and laments that they were never able to see each other again to “set things right” because O’Hara remained in Gibraltar until his death.   This is an interesting comment in light of the supposed romantic relationship between Anne and Mary.  Perhaps she was really in love with O’Hara.  Or perhaps she was attempting to control the history written about herself and Anne.

Primary Sources

Combe, William. The First of April: Or, the Triumphs of Folly: a Poem. London: J. Bew, 1777. DePaul University Special Collections. Print.

Cox, Millard. Derby: the Life and times of the 12th Earl of Derby, Edward Smith Stanley (1752-1834) Founder of the Two World Famous Horse Races, the Derby and the Oaks. London: J.A. Allan, 1974. Print.

Elfenbein, Andrew. “Anne Damer’s Sapphic Potential.” Romantic Genius: the Prehistory of a Homosexual Role. New York: Columbia UP, 1999. 91-124. Print.